Once your teen has accepted their diagnosis, your role as parents is to make sure that you gear them towards success in life. Achieving success in a traditional setting might be difficult, but it is not impossible. There are several aspects you can work on to help them succeed.
First, let your teen feel heard at home and, if possible, at school. Appreciate their strengths and encourage them to work on them. Recognise their challenges and support them when they need help. A supportive home environment can make a lot of difference in teenagers thinking and attitude towards success. Provide resources that may help them thrive and cope with their condition.
Teach them about self-advocacy; to be successful, they must self-advocate themselves actively rather than wait for someone to come to their aid.
Teach them about self-advocacy; to be successful, they must self-advocate themselves actively rather than wait for someone to come to their aid. Make teens understand their rights and ways to communicate their needs to others. Furthermore, teach them to accept help and not feel embarrassed about demanding it. You have been advocating for them until now, and you will do it in the future too, but teaching your teen to advocate for themselves will prepare them for life ahead, irrespective of their path.
Teenagers with learning disability or ADHD are often disorganised. They might not realise it, but they need a lot of structure and routine in getting through their day. Involve them and create routines and schedules their day-to-day activities, homework, extracurricular activities, etc. Also, organise their belongings by giving them easy-to-use storage space. Let their study place be clutter-free and at a quiet place, free from any distractions.
Ask for support
Parents can teach teens to develop effective means of reducing and coping with stress, frustration, and other emotional aspects of their learning disabilities. To learn to cope emotionally, they need to be aware of the situations that trigger their stress; recognise when pressure is developing and know about specific coping strategies. (Similar topic has been covered for younger children with learning disabilities, you can read about it here.) (link to How to build emotional intelligence in your child with learning disabilities and ADHD).
Teens with learning disability or ADHD are more prone to succumb to peer pressures. They may indulge in unhealthy activities like drinking, doing risky things, poor eating habits, etc. They may do some of these things that they otherwise would not in the hope of fitting in or out of the fear of losing out. To help your teen, do some simple things like:
• set various boundaries like the amount of time spent on screen or time to go to bed, and stick to them;
• show zero tolerance towards their engagement in illegal or risky behaviour, like underage driving and use of alcohol; and
• encourage good eating habits and ditch junk and sugary food.
Plan for your teen’s future, especially post-high school, and encourage them to participate in the planning process. Teach them to set realistic, flexible and attainable goals in their teens; it will give them direction and provide meaning to their future. Work towards building their self-confidence and give them an opportunity to be comfortable in new environments. For example, let them join clubs or participate in volunteer work where they can get a chance to meet new people, build relationships and become part of problem-solving efforts. It will also give them a sense of belonging to a community and help them with their social issues.
If you still need help, do not hesitate to seek guidance from experts and professionals in the field of education and career-shaping.